For years, breastfeeding an infant and young child was considered the norm. But, many women gave that up to take the more technological approach of formula feeding. If scientists and medical doctors said it was great, then it MUST be great (and not a solution for the minority of babies that needed that intervention.) Breastfeeding became seen as something the poor or less ‘evolved’ did.
The pendulum has been swinging back towards breastfeeding being seen as the norm. But even with a resurgence of women breastfeeding for at least a short while after birth, there are areas where negative connotations can arise.
For the most part, they center around the importance our society places upon independence at an early age as well as the way women are seen as sexual objects.
The independence theme generates an idea of what is ‘normal’ length for a breastfeeding relationship. In many cultures around the world, it is perfectly normal for a child of 3 or even older to still nurse. But, here in the United States, you can find eyebrows raising for a large infant or toddler that other people deem old enough to be independent of their mother. Recommendations of medical professionals has created a mindset that has nursing up to a year seeming okay to most people. But, some individuals have the idea that at that magical birthday a child should be weaned and forced down the path of independence.
Then there’s the whole sexualization of a woman’s breast that has earned a few long time nursing mothers accusations of ‘enjoying’ breastfeeding their child just a little too much. Somehow the idea that a woman can use her breasts as nature intended is foreign in this sexually charged culture. Instead, dirty thoughts are projected upon a mother’s motivation to breastfeed her child. I’ve had a few acquaintances share with me that they’ve been accused of it. (One mom was told she’d make her daughter a lesbian by nursing her beyond infancy. Puh-leeze!)
Of course, that image is not helped when blockbuster movies like Grown Ups with Adam Sandler have an older child nursing and making it seem like a freak show. The mom went on about it being what gave her a ‘great shape.’ But, with peer pressure, the boy ends up loving cow’s milk and mom laments that she’ll need to find another way to keep a great figure. The ‘take home message’ from that sub-plot is that mom had convinced the child to keep nursing to meet her needs and she was in dire need of an intervention.
Having known a few mothers who did nurse an older preschooler, I can say that you just don’t see the child walking up, standing and nursing at public events. Instead, many moms of toddlers and beyond tend to nurse on in ‘safe’ environments… their home, homes of like minded friends or family, or La Leche League meetings.
So…yes, language and the portrayal of breastfeeding in different media outlets can have a big impact upon the image of breastfeeding. Small shifts, such as recommendations for nursing referring to the child as a child rather than infant could open the door to more understanding by removing the image of a small infant snug at the breast being the only acceptable option. The idea of breasts existing solely for sexual gratification is far more challenging to overcome. I’d love to think that a bunch of women publicly nursing would help. But, I fear that some perverted soul would find it too much to take.
Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.
- Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-Breast is Not Best, It’s Normal
- Sylko @ Chaotic Mama-Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival: Day 4
- Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-Breast is Not Best, It’s Par
- Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeeding Carnival Day 4: Language and Breastfeeding
- Ana @ Motherhood: Deconstructed-How Language (and Feminism) Creates an Aversion to Breastfeeding
- Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Maybe Means
- Laura @ Day by Day in Our World-Is Our Language Affecting the Image of Breastfeeding?
- And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Sarah Woodall Stoddard-Talking About Breastfeeding
Thanks for writing this. I would have nursed my older kids longer if not for the pressure of "they're one now, how long are you going to do that they can drink real milk now." I would love to nurse my current little guy longer than the rest have, and feel fortunate to have a husband who will be supportive this time around.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate you addressing the "age limit" our society places on breastfeeding. It's a subject that has always bothered me because woman are pressured to wean while their baby's are so young. It's unfortunate that our society makes the relationship between a mother and infant/toddler/child into something unnatural and perverted.
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